Update #7 -Ｔｒａｇｉｃ░Ｓｏｌｉｐｓｉｓｍ░ （エボラ）

There's a lot on my mind in terms of posting here since the last time I posted. That's not to say I'm worried about posting, but there's a lot of things I feel like I need to express and I have a habit of loosing interest. The first thing I need to address is the fact that my friends read my blog then proceeded to tell me they read it. That last sentence makes it sound like I'm mad about people reading it, when in actuality part of the catharsis of doing this is that I know anyone can read it. The turmoil it has created is that my audience now has a face. I was writing this without one before and as such I addressed every feeling I had in an unbiased manner. I don't want my blog to change for reasons coming, but I feel like some change is inevitable. Not with intent, but the my ego seems to be pulling on the id in this case.

The second thing to confront is the genuine idea I was presented with that my blog helps people. My blog which I created as a purely selfish endeavour was set up purely to self pity and I guess self destruct also. It's comforting to know that people can relate to what I say here. Although I have absolutely no intention of trying to be some kind of relatable guru of the psyche. To try to be relatable would only be to put up a facade and could only damage ones own perception of self worth. What I'm trying to say here (an audience address already) is that if you find solace in these posts I'm glad that you have, but don't pedastal me, I only write these for my own gain. 

The previous paragraph has actually created a bit of a quandary for me in that I write these posts purely for self gain, but I don't want to upset anyone who feels the same way as me by saying as such. I guess I'll have to think about that. 

I lost interest and I'm posting this a week later than I wrote it.  Judging by the title I was probably listening to Vaporwave.

An infrared view of a beach. Canon Ae-1 Program Rollei Infrared.